Don't Spit in My Soup, part 1 (manifesting good service every time)

How many points of view can one take? How many vantage points are there to 1 scene? They say that reality is 90% perception. Well I totally agree. But I also agree that the majority of the general public see only what is convenient to see, what they’ve been taught to see. We as individuals are raised by the company we keep, and on an ordinary scale mimic the actions and attitudes of others. We see children growing into adults and repeating the same arguments and fights from their own parents. We see people eating at the dinner table with the same cutlery nuances as their predecessors, cutting with the right, switching fork into other hand. Even tying one’s shoes is something that is learned, second-nature, and automatic. It is natural to move about our lives wearing the same lenses in the same glasses we were given.

Although I’m not here to argue the impact of social construction and the implications of why we are who we are. That’s a different text altogether. The reason that I bring it up is that there is a general consensus in not wanting to fix something that isn’t broken. In more general terms, keep your heads down and business as usual. But then again, what if your perception is misleading you, and your perception is flawed, or broken for lack of a better term? Would you be willing to accept that? Would you be willing to examine your habits and auto-pilot-like gestures, mannerisms, and habits? And moreover, would you be willing to change them if there were positive results from that change?

Well, I hope that some of you said yes. And if so, please read on. And if you’re one of those who said “No!”, well then you better read on, for there is some knowledge encased within these lines of pixelated ink that will explain why certain outcomes consistently arrive at your front door. The main reason is that you manifest those outcomes. That’s right. I used that mystic word that flower-children overuse, “MANIFEST”. Whether or not you believe in it, the teachings of manifesting has become popular in the last many years, the fact is that you get what you look for. If I could for a moment, let’s redefine it to make everyone at ease. You have expectations. You expect things to go a certain way, and then are not surprised when they do. That’s what manifesting is. It is merely holding up a catcher’s mitt expecting to be hit in the face with a curve ball. What you hope for (because you’re thirsty and dehydrated) would be some fresh water to dowse your face and refresh you. And as you’re sitting there on your peverbal stoop wanting one thing and expecting another, one person walks by with a cup of water, sees you need it and throws it in your direction. But alas, your catcher’s mitt blocked the water and prevented you from getting your dowsing of freshness. And as you sit there realizing you blocked the water, another person walking down the street sees the mitt held up and can’t resist throwing that curve ball at you and smacks you, just as you expected.

This is what I speak of. This is how manifesting works. It’s all about checking in to see what kind of receptor you have holding out into the world. Are you ready to receive what you really want to ask for? Or are you trapped in a painful cycle, used to being let down? If it’s the latter, all of your receptors are being utilized in receipt for the expected negative outcome, that there are no receptors left to receive the positive change you’re asking for. And as I continue, you’ll see how changing the idea of what you’re looking for will bring you far better outcomes. You will also see that you can read and watch movies about manifesting and connecting with source (which are fabulous topics and very powerful), but it can be all for naught if you are not able to receive what it is you ask for.

Let’s begin to place you at the setting of one of the most influential, that most revealing, and the most challenging locations: The Dining Table. More time is spent at this alter of commerce and comida, and most of the public has never been trained, or if they have, poorly trained at the art of dining and dealing. I’m speaking more specifically about at the restaurant table: Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. Always a place to be served, to be wowed by the culinary creations, to be pampered, and yes, at times reminded that 20 minutes in our own kitchens would replicate tastier morsels.

And it just so turns out that the dining table is a very revealing location to find out about someone. Seeing that this is one of those places where automatic behaviors and subconscious nuances can affect those around us in both our business and personal lives. More specifically in the business aspect I’m speaking of the business meal, sales call, site visit, and even the close. Every little detail starting at the reservation, to the initial greet, treatment of the staff, smoothness of the meeting tempo, and yes, paying the bill. All of these nuances can make or break your meeting, because there are countless moments where true colors are shown. Your personality will shine through, and your guests will know the following: How do you value those in a service job (are you above them?), If you’re inherently passive aggressive (did you bring your concern actually to the server, or just complain about it to the table?), Are you polite and classy in your human interaction even after you get the sale? (Do you use your knife and fork to cut your food into bite-size morsels, or did you devour those wings with sauce on your face, chewing with your mouth open?) All of these moments at the business dining table is going to reveal who you truly are.

And on the personal side, let’s look at the date. The point of a business meal is eventually to close the deal, and we have to admit that the personal date shares the same desired outcome. Although instead of signing on the line and shaking hands, I’m sure both parties would rather shake different body parts. But in both of these scenarios, so much is revealed about us, who we are, where we came from, manners, expectations, and most importantly how we treat others. Dining out also shows others around us how we handle disappointment, in those occasions where proper service is not received, a menu item is made wrong, coffee spilled on the table. How do we handle ourselves when the shit hits the fan and nothing goes right? The dining table is the ultimate revealing of our truest colors.

I’ve seen all meals be the setting of business deals, whether it being the prospect, the pitch, the informational stage, the close, the save, the renegotiation, or even the thank you. All of these meals are important, and the way we behave and interact are all crucial to the success. And also for the personal meals. The first date, the big date, the double-date, friends’ birthdays, wedding parties. Strangely enough we all get judged by the way we handle ourselves at the table, yet no one ever looks for a better way to behave, or the “right way”, or has any doubt in their mind that their point of view is the correct one. No one is ever taught what to expect, how to improve their perceptions, and create the situation where things can fall into place for the perfect meal. And this is what I’m here to do. I’m not here to be that ominous tone that says, “Sit up straight, elbows off the table, the outside fork for the salad.” That is good information to know when you’re to dine with the queen, but what I’m concerned with today is the etiquette of human nature, the nature of the restaurant business, and the nature of the sale. Exploring this is the real etiquette to learn. How to throw a party of 10 and have no one get stuck with the bill because someone added wrong. How to be on a REALLY strict budget and still impress (the girl or the client). How to minimize mistakes in the service and food, so there’s no distractions from the business conversation. How to pay for a meal without there being dissention or awkward moments while the server has plenty other things to do than play credit card hop-scotch. How to create the perfect service every time.